Tag: Thoughts

Bettering Myself

Posted on by Emilyn in Life, My Journal (My Life)
  • Rise With the Sun: Let the Sun Kiss Your Eyelids Awake. A New Day Starts With Fresh Morning Air.
  • Be Kinder to Myself: Love Every Bit of Yourself. You are No Less of a Person. Don’t Be Afraid to Hold Your Own Hand. Don’t Be Afraid to Hug Yourself when You Need to. Don’t Be Afraid to Be Your Own Hero.
  • Say No: It’s Not Always to the Bad. Sometimes you must to what you see as Good.
  • Take Deep Breaths: Ten of Them. One for your Lungs, Two for the What Comes Next, Three to the Way you Hold Breath When you’re Nervous, & Four for the Words you’re about to Tell Yourself: “It’s Going to Be Okay”.
  • Take Care of Yourself: Remember This.
  • Don’t Be Too Hard on Yourself: People Make Mistakes. Including You.
  • Be Careful With Your Heart: Don’t Let People Back Into Your Life So Easily.
  • Give Your All: Give Everything.
  • Don’t Wait Too Long: When Something or Someone Doesn’t Come. Wait… A While – For Your Heart’s Content. When Something or Someone Doesn’t Come. Don’t Be Mad at Them. Leave the Moment to Rest. Don’t Wait Too Long, the Moment Needs Rest Too.
  • Choose Your Words Wisely: …but when they don’t come, don’t force them to.
  • It’s Okay to Love Too Much: Love, Love, Love, Love, Love, Love, and Love.
  • Never Leave Anything Unfinished:
  • Stop Doubting Yourself: You Can’t Predict the Future. You Don’t Know Your Potential. Stop Acting like you’re already a Failure. Life’s Just Beginning.
  • Give Yourself Second Chances: A lot of them.
  • Drink More Water: Hydrate Your Roots, You Must.
  • Give Lots of Compliments: Too Many. You know you Love Making People Smile.
  • Love Unconditionally: Don’t Be Afraid.
  • “It’s Going to Be Okay”: No Matter What May Happen, It will be Okay.
  • Don’t Take Anything Personally: I Know Your Heart. You Don’t Want to Wrong Anyone. You Don’t Believe in Making Assumptions, but You Cannot Control What Other’s Think of You. Sometimes They Are Wrong.
  • Leave Toxic People & Things Behind: Leave the Parts of You that Try to Hold You Back.
  • Don’t Forget A Thing: Remember Where You Came From. Remember Who You Are.
  • Let Yourself Free: Go Explore Places that Leave You Breathless.
  • Go To Bed Early: The Sun is Waiting for You – To Kiss Your Eyelids Again. Remember, A New Day Starts With Morning Air.
  • Hold Your Head Up High: You Deserve More than What you May Think.
  • Forgive Yourself: Much Like You Forgive Others, but Don’t Let the Same Mistakes Repeat Themselves.
  • Live Life Like You’re Not Waiting For Something Better: This is it Do Your Best to Make Sure it’s Enough.
  • Currently Listening To: Ordinary Human By One Republic
  • Rise With the Sun: Let the Sun Kiss Your Eyelids Awake. A New Day Starts With Fresh Morning Air.
  • Be Kinder to Myself: Love Every Bit of Yourself. You are No Less of a Person. Don’t Be Afraid to Hold Your Own Hand. Don’t Be Afraid to Hug Yourself when You Need to. Don’t Be Afraid to Be Your Own Hero.
  • Say No: It’s Not Always to the Bad. Sometimes you must to what you see as Good.
  • Take Deep Breaths: Ten of Them. One for your Lungs, Two for the What Comes Next, Three to the Way you Hold Breath When you’re Nervous, & Four for the Words you’re about to Tell Yourself: “It’s Going to Be Okay”.
  • Take Care of Yourself: Remember This.
  • Don’t Be Too Hard on Yourself: People Make Mistakes. Including You.
  • Be Careful With Your Heart: Don’t Let People Back Into Your Life So Easily.
  • Give Your All: Give Everything.
  • Don’t Wait Too Long: When Something or Someone Doesn’t Come. Wait… A While – For Your Heart’s Content. When Something or Someone Doesn’t Come. Don’t Be Mad at Them. Leave the Moment to Rest. Don’t Wait Too Long, the Moment Needs Rest Too.
  • Choose Your Words Wisely: …but when they don’t come, don’t force them to.
  • It’s Okay to Love Too Much: Love, Love, Love, Love, Love, Love, and Love.
  • Never Leave Anything Unfinished:
  • Stop Doubting Yourself: You Can’t Predict the Future. You Don’t Know Your Potential. Stop Acting like you’re already a Failure. Life’s Just Beginning.
  • Give Yourself Second Chances: A lot of them.
  • Drink More Water: Hydrate Your Roots, You Must.
  • Give Lots of Compliments: Too Many. You know you Love Making People Smile.
  • Love Unconditionally: Don’t Be Afraid.
  • “It’s Going to Be Okay”: No Matter What May Happen, It will be Okay.
  • Don’t Take Anything Personally: I Know Your Heart. You Don’t Want to Wrong Anyone. You Don’t Believe in Making Assumptions, but You Cannot Control What Other’s Think of You. Sometimes They Are Wrong.
  • Leave Toxic People & Things Behind: Leave the Parts of You that Try to Hold You Back.
  • Don’t Forget A Thing: Remember Where You Came From. Remember Who You Are.
  • Let Yourself Free: Go Explore Places that Leave You Breathless.
  • Go To Bed Early: The Sun is Waiting for You – To Kiss Your Eyelids Again. Remember, A New Day Starts With Morning Air.
  • Hold Your Head Up High: You Deserve More than What you May Think.
  • Forgive Yourself: Much Like You Forgive Others, but Don’t Let the Same Mistakes Repeat Themselves.
  • Live Life Like You’re Not Waiting For Something Better: This is it Do Your Best to Make Sure it’s Enough.

Currently Listening To: Ordinary Human By One Republic

–             Emilyn Nguyen, Bettering Myself

Meghana

Posted on by Emilyn in Prose

In the reflection of the sunrise,
a cloud disrupts the clear sky with one single tear,
and I can see the joy in the eyes of those who held you first:

White, and pure into their hands, before it evaporates. Notice how she smiles, molding into the palms of your hands, but she may stay or leave you, no matter what she’ll leave you a mark of goodness, reminding you that it exists. It might be an unparticular date, January 27th, but the clouds still form. There might be rain, maybe snow today, perhaps hail, but this cloud stands alone, brushing dust off the back of her hand to start waving, whispering her wishes in a bashful hush. “Something ought to come out of those clouds, something out to come of me.”  Twisting through the white-blue sky, a background of blue snow, her words are a reason to become winded. She becomes all of the elements of the sky that one holds between their fingers while their head is tilted back and up blinded by the brightness of the sky. You don’t even know. Within you, you’ve shared stories, and painted in breezes. Illusions unfold, and rewind together within you sometimes you escape once again though… you always return to watch over me once again. Sometimes, you will not say a word, but in visuals you write in strength, smiles and hope – aspiring to inspire. You grow in shapes and sizes, aside the bright sun, and you’re a cloud. You can become everything and anything here or even beyond the white-blue skies.

It feels like a cotton breeze,
as I watch the sun rise, and you appear.
“Meghana,” they call you.

–               Emilyn Nguyen, Meghana

Blank Canvases: New Beginings

Posted on by Emilyn in Life, My Journal (My Life), Photography, Prose

In a bundle of blankets wrapped around my legs, my toes still wander among them. They curl in a cold numbness, but move slowly outside of the sheets, only crawling back for sanctuary when it had decided to wander too far, sending a glimpse of the winter air invading the warmth I feel.

In retrospect, there are several candles burning simultaneously. Scents intermixing and seemingly to interchange with each other – “Vanilla Bean  Noel”, “Leaves”, “Vanilla Frosted Cupcakes”, and “Apple Orchids”.  The beginning of the wax melting and the ends of the wicks burning into the glass Mason jar, their aura of entitled seasons and settings – colliding with memories gathering at the frontal cortex of my mind, telling me to “remember…”

I remember faintly, but waking up to a New Year, my eyelids are heavy amongst morning light, but I can still feel the ache of my body against the hardwood floor beneath me. There is a mess of my books scrambled amongst the polished hardwood floor. Paint brushes and pens are spread apart messily from each other next to opened paint palettes, and untouched new sketch books – all lying still as if I were painting still life; a beautiful mess.

My journals are opened up to my favorite entries, for I was frantically flipping through them for inspiration; in a frantic search for a new idea. I have a fear to become a closed, quiet, and reserved mind, but against the wall, a blank canvas is still at the head of the mess is white and waiting patiently for a painting anew.

I think I must have fallen asleep staring at the canvas. There is still a paintbrush in my hand, wet with moisture. I reached for my brown journal the simplicity in the page catches my eye. It says, “If you want to know where your heart is, look to where your mind goes when it wanders.”

Useless.

I must admit I have been an empty mind, searching for what my mother calls a “lost cause.” Empty canvases are bad luck.

I can taste the candle burning now, overpowering in the memories they have connected to this room – this home. I drag my blankets off my legs walking to the window, and the snow is too bright for my eyes. A new sheet of ice has appeared on my window, but the white sheet of blankness and stillness appeals to me, leading me to start wandering.

I am falling into a white abyss.

There are indications of where I am, but I am inclined to find the root of its origin. There are parts that remind me of my childhood like a flashback of photos – quickly, so you feel like so much time has passed. What you don’t see is all the time that is coming.

You don’t know how much time is coming, but think far. Think far ahead. Dream far ahead, and only look back when reflecting, to better improve yourself. Wander. Wander far ahead with your dreams tucked behind your ears.

I recall memories of comfort and dread and in between them now is where I lie. It is something that I am sure of; something I am connected to. It is a tangible feeling that I feel. One minute you imagine that you’re eight, and others an age of sixteen.

To realize, I quiver in a dream walking as a paintbrush on a white-as-snow canvas, letting myself fall heavily into a white abyss. New snow falls for a new year; this lost cause is a new beginning.

–

I’ve picked up the paintbrush and begun to paint.

Photography By: Michelle Dee

Currently Listening To: Move Together By James Bay

–           Emilyn Nguyen, Blank Canvases: New Beginnings