Hellos are met at the front door with sincere waves and smiles. Notice the curvatures of their lips – their off-white teeth and cracked lips shining like moonlight towards an opening of one’s heart and letting someone in. The creak of the porch served as a stoic warning, but I entered. My awkward posture, fidgeting hands, and a discrete smile, I entered with such caution, and propriety; still feeling the uneasy step in to a white abyss: a new year. A blank space it was. In the depths of my persona, I was a pair of bright eyes, very little of a voice, and an overfilled brown leather journal. On the twenty-fourth page of it, I wrote:
“Twenty-Fourteen is about an evolution; a change in time with an entirely different meaning; an emerging voice; another side of fear; laughing endlessly; loving ceaselessly; running regularly; remembering the smallest moments; reading hundreds; writing even more; an exploration somewhere near, and somewhere far; an adventure; learning something new, and something old; freely living – infinitely, and fearlessly.”
Now, I think:
Changing. Perhaps.
Evolving. Entirely.
I finally found my voice, and it was no longer in the symbolism of neither my poetry, prose, nor strokes of my brushes, but the sound waves when I spoke. I didn’t believe my mother when she told me that “you’d grow into your voice. It’s okay to be shy,” but eventually I did. My anxiety when speaking eventually evaporated and my voice did emerge along with an obnoxious laugh, the way my mother says my father tilts his head back and squeals in silent laughter, and a contagious chuckle. I evolved. I was no longer just entering the front doors with sincere waves, and smiles, but I was letting people enter with a darling hello. I became observant of the smallest of memories in book characters, and new found friends. I was the greeter at the door by the end of Twenty-Fourteen.
I let people freely enter my life. I welcomed them. I met people that loved me, changed me, cared for me, but also love, and cherish in return. I met people for days a time, only a week, to grow as sisters – still growing, still evolving. I met people that laughed and loved me for one bad joke and an obscure giggle. I met people that understand me, and that don’t; people that were distinctively at the opposite end of the pole of where I was, but those were where the adventures were best. For once, I was content with not being able to understand content with having neither an explanation nor reason for all that I do in my lifetime. I can love science while loving religion as an old blanket; I can be creative while being innovative…
“With a mind like yours, stay true to what you believe…”
I was blessed with adventures, small and large with these people. Explorations with them, I found pieces of myself in each place I found myself wandering in, the good and the bad: my plan to start anew. I was met face to face with my fears and my failures, and this alone was a blessing. Through my books, my long strolls, running reminiscing in the rain, spinning in summer dresses, getting lost in old libraries, biking in the woods, I was no longer afraid to let go, be wild, be free, and be misunderstood. Twenty-Fourteen loved me, made me, broke me, and changed me. Until now, I realize that I’m surrounded by such energy in this life, of both love and such fearlessness, I am no longer afraid to wander alone into a welcoming white abyss: this New Year.
– Emilyn Nguyen, Twenty-Fourteen
Currently Listening To: Your Song By Elton John
Collection of Memories of Twenty-Fourteen:
(Opening My Memory Jar)
- Beyond the Microscope: (January) Medical Center Science Research Symposium – With Claire, Matthew, and Allison
- Love in 14 Ways: (Valentine’s Day, February) Carnation Giving at Hospital – With Claire, Juliana, Meghana, and Allison
- Discovering Water Colors: (March) Rediscovering Water Color Paints! How Beautiful!
- First Large Canvas Painting: (April) C’est Paris! Painting of Paris Completed!
- Honored: (May) National Honor Society Initiation Ceremony
- First Fears: (May) First Science Research Presentation – With Matthew, Allison, Claire, and Science Research Class
- All Dolled Up: (June) Junior Prom – With Allison, Claire, Juliana (and Meghana in spirit)
- Claire Bear: (July) Claire’s Birthday Surprise! – With Meghana, and Allison
- Motivational Friends = Motivation is Contagious: (July) CURIE Academy at Cornell University – With CURIE Girls Internationally
- Carolina Shores: (July) Outerbanks – with Lily, and Family
- Hurricane Arthur: (July) Maryland for Sanctuary – With Ethan, Emma, Lily, Danny, Timothy, and Family
- Land of the Free: (July) Little Ethan finds comfort in my arms for the Fourth of July Fireworks in Maryland – With Lily, Emma, Ethan, Danny Timothy, and Family
- Seventeen in Ithaca: (July) Birthday Insomnia Cookies, Breakfast, Presentation, Lunch & Dinner – With CURIE Girls, Lily, Timothy, and Family
- Broken Humerus, Not Humorous (July): Timothy’s Surgery
- Running in Place: (August) Rochester Scholars Session B: Biomedical technology: Engineer, Doctor, or Both?
- I’m Listening: (August) Rochester2014 Session B: Cochlea: Microphone of the Inner Ear
- “I Can’t Pose!”: (September) Senior Photos – With Michelle
- More Bitter than Sweet: (September) Last Year of High School
- Trojans, Trojans what’s Your Cry? V-I-C-T-O-R-Y: (October) Spirit Week/ Homecoming! – With Friends
- Last Season: (October) Meghana’s Last Tennis Match of her High School Career: She won! – With Juliana, and Bethany
- At Hallows: (October) Cat for Taekwondo Halloween Party, Zombies for Halloween Trick-Or-Treating – With Lily, Danny, and Timothy
- Before Thanksgiving: (November) College, College, College [Applications]
- Thankful Thanks: (November) Thanksgiving at Lynn’s House – With Lynn, Michelle, Lily, and Family
- Midnight Rumble: (November) Black Friday – With Lily & Mom
- With the People of the Era, Where I Belong: Senior to Senior Intergenerational Dance – With Kat, Meghana, Claire &
- Elephant Santa: (December) Gag Gifts Secret Santa – With Friends
- Baby, It’s Cold Outside:(December) Holiday Party – with Allison, Claire, Meghana, and Juliana
↠ Emilyn's Journey ↞ 